1. Become an illustrator
You know, illustrating books and all…I better try more but I’m so swamped with *stuff* I often forget to work on myself in this direction. Will try more.

2. Dance naked in a snowy forest & then dash into sauna
I have weird ideas, I know. But I really want to do this :P

3. Swim among colorful tropical fish somewhere in southern Asia
I already did this in Malaysia but it was so mind-blowingly mesmerizing I want to do it again…

4. Share life with an awesome, caring man that will bring a cup of leaf tea to me every morning ♥
He should also be intelligent, have a great sense of humour, loyal, handsome, with a warm heart, loving nature & animals, able to repair household stuff :D and proud to be with me. Nah, otherways I totally don’t want too much… xD

5. Ride a horse on a beach
And anywhere else. And anytime…

6. Learn to speak some weird & ‘useless’ language fluently~ :)
Finnish? Estonian? Icelandic? Some odd dialect spoken at Okinawa? :D

I really will do my best to fulfill them all before I come into age of when I’ll be peeing in my megapants yet again. ;)

• The Essential Zen Habits of 2009
• My Secrets for Personal Growth and Change: How To Change Yourself
• mnmlist
• Lapland Adventures
• mostly WALKING

+ my email at Yahoo! and Facebook. And a website of one sushi bar, I must call there to book a table but I still haven’t done it. Ahem.

What does this shows?
Many things; for example that even though I am reading about self-growth and de-cluttering life and all these motivational, positively written things that will help me live my life more productively and in a happier manner….well, I still find time to read about Swedish Lappland and a lady in Finland taking long strolls around Helsinki (yes, I like Scandinavia). :P

But really, isn’t Lappland amazing? I want to be there…instead of having to study Folklore & Folkloristics from centuries old communistic books. =_= (I know I should be grateful to be able to study higher education – and I am, but I just can’t help but complain a tiny bit).

I am also sick which is not very nice…considering my exam period is starting next week and I’m feeling way too bleh to study like I should…so instead of that, I am wasting my time online and by reading mags and I KNOW I’ll be cursing myself later on for not studying in advance. Seems like all those motivational blogs have no effect on me. xD

Sigh sigh. Fine, let me go wash my hair and then I will *maybe* study a bit…but I can’t overdo it you know, it could harm me ;)

I have some weird feeling that 2011 will be sort of DRAMATIC – I don’t have any proof of it, or hints or tarot card readings….I’m just feeling this. I’m thinking my fav quote “YOU GAIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME” will come into effect in 2011 and I am still not sure if that’s good or bad…we’ll see.

Also, I’m not much of a resolutions person, I tend to forget them very soon…but nevertheless, I always make some. This year won’t be an exception, so here are my 2011 resolutions/goals:

• To think about myself & to care about myself.
  Because I tend to make fuss around other people and forget my own needs and just..myself.
• To play hard, but work harder. ;)
  It used to be the other way round but I’m not a child anymore, so it’s time to wake up! Not that adults can’t play and have fun or something, but I just need to FOCUS on something like education & job instead of reading Swedish fairy tales you know :D
• To really visit Finland in the summer!
  I want to see & experience a different culture, waste all my money at Marimekko, horse-ride in the beautiful forests, get sweaty in a real Finnish sauna while checking out hot naked Finns, visit amazing galleries in Helsinki & of course meet up with Ilkka. I don’t know if he’s looking forward to meeting me as much as I’m to meeting him, but he better does :P It’ll be weirdly amazing meeting a guy I’ve known online for like 10 years…you know, people are different in real than they’re online so I’m ALREADY nervous (you see, I’m a worrying queen, I also like to worry in advance about stuff) but I’m thinking it’ll be an interesting experience for both of us. It’ll also move our friendship to a higher level, you know, it’s quite beneficial to know your friends *personally*…hahaa~
• To be humble & hardworking.
  ‘Nuff said, this is important.
• To start jogging!
• To watch my sleeping pattern.
  It’s now very &%&* up, I keep on going to bed around 1am, then waking up around 8am because I must take Gimli out for a walk and it all results in me being tired like hell. The ideal would be me going to bed at 11.30pm and waking up at 6.30am…I must work on this. O_o

OK, that’s it! Hugs & kisses :)

Skin Care
What facial cleanser do you use?

Sebamed’s Cleansing Foam that smells nice & is very gentle…and a random Dead Sea mud soap with natural oils (coconut & olive oil for example). I alternate them randomly, they’re both nice.

What toner do you use?

I use two…one also from Sebamed (this one) and then I have Clinique’s Clarifying Lotion Mild & 2 so I alternate them randomly, depending on what’s my skin like. If it’s too dry, I’ll use the Mild one, if it’s pimply & ugly, I’ll use the CL 2 because it dries up stuff (not surprising, it smells like a Finnish vodka wtf).

What moisturizer do you use?

I’m using (again! finally some brand loyalty haha) Sebamed’s Moisturizing Cream and Sebamed’s Clear Face Care Gel. Both are very good, great texture, gentle, subtle smell, non-comedogenic & etc. but they are sans SPF so I need to use either a separate SPF layer or use my a foundation with SPF.

I’m very anal about sun protection in the spring & summer but now I’m not so strict…now I’m very strict about moisturizing my face well, as winter dries up my complexion pretty fast.

What eyecream do you use?

I have an eyecream with herbal extracts from a Czech brand Altermed, it’s very good & soothing :) I don’t use it religiously all the time though which I probably should, as I’m prone to eyebags FML…

How many times a day do you wash your face?
Twice, in the morning I splash it with cold water and then I use the cleansing foam/Dead Sea mud soap and in the evening I either wash it again or I just remove all the blah with my make-up remover and then with the toner or CL.

Do you use eye makeup remover?
OF COURSE.

If so, What kind?
Ziaja something, it’s a Polish brand…and also, a Balea MED make-up remover for sensitive skin, but it’s not very good, it’s just…decent. For eyes I use my fave Bourjois eye make-up remover, it’s really good & gentle and I have the maxi bottle so I don’t have to be buying it every 5 seconds. :P
You see, I understand that people use their LANCOME or DIOR or whatever… removers, but I’m thinking, what’s the point? A waste of money. I like to keep it cheap & of a good quality, which isn’t contradictory btw ;)

Is your skin oily, dry, or combination skin?
Sensitive, combination and with blackheads on my nose & chin. Sniff… :(

What is the best part about your skin?
Maybe that it’s smooth & fair?

What are your skin problems?
Those blackheads FML. And random pimples from time to time.

What sunblock do you use?
I have a sunblock thingy by Clarins called Clarins UV Plus Day Screen Protection SPF 40, but I’m not using it very often, I keep on forgetting :P Then I also have something by Garnier.
Makeup
What foundation do you use?
La Roche-Posay Toleriane Teint Fluid in 10 Ivory. This is my holy grail of make-ups, it’s correcting, non-comedogenic, the shade fits, the tube lasts you million years and it doesn’t cost an arm & leg (it’s about 20 Euros in here).
For good skin days I also have my Clinique Almost Powder Make-up SPF 15 which is light & comfy to wear.

What powder do you use?
Bourjois something. I like Bourjois! :)

What eyebrow pencil do you use?
Actually I don’t use this, my eyebrows are black wtf, I don’t need to define anything :P

What eyeliner do you use?
Also by Bourjois, the Liner Clubbing Ultra Resistant one. I have oily lids so nothing ever stays…except of THIS. :)

What is your favorite eyeshadow?
I have this set of 4 eyeshadows by Miss Sporty that was super cheap & random and I love it sooo much :))

What mascara do you use?
I will be very original here…BOURJOIS! I have the Volume Glamour Ultra Care mascara in black and though I can’t say it lasts forever & doesn’t smudge, it’s still very nice & gentle and it makes my lashes look good.

What are your favorite lipbalms/glosses/sticks?:
I’m using random lipbalms & some glosses…usually with glitters wtf.
Hair
Do you color your hair?
No I don’t, I’m too lazy + it damages hair…

What is your stylists name?
I don’t have one :P

What salon do you go to?
Randomly, but recently I’ve found a good one near to my place, they’re using L’Oreal stuff over there.

What is your natural hair color?
Brown with hazel shine to it. It used to be black when I was a kid, but that changed. :P

What is your hair color now?
Brown!

Do you have straight or curly hair?
Straight but sometimes it gets randomly wavy.

Do you use a curling iron?
No, I’m too lazy.

A straightener?
No.

Do you use a blowdryer?
From time to time, but I usually avoid it as it dries up my hair.

Do you use gel and if so, what kind?
Nope.

Do you use mousse, and if so, what kind?
I don’t, I’m a hair styling virgin wtf :D

What shampoo do you use?
I have a totally shitty SYOSS Intensive Care something for nutrition that sucks and an Alverde birch + something shampoo without chemical stuff that’s really good & natural & I’ll keep on using it :))

What conditioner do you use?
Random.

Do you use leave in conditioner?
Only sometimes, I have one by Schwarzkopf I think, it’s in a form of a spray.

Scents
What deodorant do you use?
Random ones, I have one by

What body wash do you use?
Don’t know, something with “sea pearls” which is obviously a marketing bullshit. :D

Do you use a loofah, washcloth or soap to wash?
No, I don’t.

What perfumes do you use or like? Name five.
L’Eau par Kenzo is my ultimate fave! So this one will do :D

Do you always have to smell good?
Well, it’s better if I’m not smelly… :D

Jewelry
Are diamonds really a girl’s best friend?
I think DOGS are, but diamond earrings are nice too ;)

What is your jewelry essential?
Earrings.

What jewelry do you wear most?
The white golden earrings that my grandma gave me :)

What jewelry do you crave most?
Those diamond earrings wtf!!! Also, can this meme already end? :D

Purses and Shoes
How many purses do you own?
Hmmm, about 10?

Which is your favorite?
The leather one I have from a thrift shop in Prague :D It’s of awesome quality!!! If I were to buy in a shop now, it’d be like 60 Euros at least. Ha!

How many shoes do you own?
Not many, maybe up to 10…

Which pair is your favorite?

My mary janes from M&S and Ecco white sneakers. I’m not much of a heel wearer :P

Who is your favorite handbag designer?
I really don’t know as I don’t really care about this :P Maybe DKNY?

Who is your favorite shoe designer?
Eeehhh…Minna Parikka! :)

This or that;
Manolos or Jimmy Choos?
Jimmy Choo? I don’t really know. Can’t afford neither, so whatever :D

Dolce and Gabbana or Chanel?
Chanel, because D&G is disgusting.

Micheal Kors or Bebe?
Can I say Stella McCartney??

Louis Vuitton or Coach?
I prefer Coach if I have to, LV is so overrated and so everywhere, I can’t stand seeing that stupid monogram anymore. -__-

Gucci or Prada?
Neither!!

Miscellaneous
Favorite Magazine to read?
National Geographic, GEO, Reflex, Respekt, sometimes Harper’s Bazaar :)
Favorite nail polish?
Random, cheap ones in natural shades.

Favourite Book?
The one I’m currently reading, The Reindeer People by Piers Vitebsky. It’s AMAZING!!!

*click*

Favorite Band?
Foo Fighters, Sigur Ros, Garbage, ABBA!!!…

Favorite Girly Movie?
That stupid movie with that Danish prince and a student of medicine played by…oooh, I forgot. Also, I saw SATC 1 and thought it was quite enjoyable. :P

Are you high maintenence?
Honestly…probably yes :P

Do you enjoy being a girl?
Yes!

*WHEW* JESUS CHRIST AMEN it’s the end. I’m so exhausted I must go read my Reindeer People, will you please excuse me… :P

Today out of sheer procrastination curiosity I went to update my “Personality Profile” application at FB getting a very inaccurate result (though I agree with my openness & neuroticism percentages, I don’t think I’m so analytical & academically obsessed – sounds more like my man!) which then prompted me to try a different, more accurate test…and hell yeah, I got my share of results. Accurate ones, may I add. Though one always sees oneself somehow differently from the way others see him/her, I think my views on myself are not so idealistic and askew and I was able to judge somehow fairly what results fits & what doesn’t…

I took the Sorter Test here & because I can’t randomly pay for personality profiles elsewhere, I then checked out MOAR about myself here. Mind the ancient design (or lack of thereof?), the web is still good! :)

My result was an IDEALIST. It says this…I underlined the parts I deemed very fitting on me:

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self — always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the “not visible” or the “not yet” that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a “soulmate,” someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

Idealists at Work
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.

Because you live in anticipation of an exciting future, in your ideal job you will be asked to stretch your imagination on a continual basis. Existing ideas, individuals and groups of people, products, services, and the relationships between these things can trigger flashes of insight about how “what is” might unfold into “what might be.” You feel rewarded where you feel free to share your insights with people who encourage your creativity and who support the unpredictable process by which you narrow down the stream of ideas into innovations that are meaningful within the scheme of your personal values. You are likely to be comfortable taking on a leadership role, so long as it doesn’t place you in an arbitrary hierarchy.

Aaaahh! YES! Very accurate. If you read the negative traits & knew me, you’d see it’s saying stuff about me all the time…

So anyway, what’s this thing good for? (I wanted to add “anyway” after “for” but only retards use the same word twice in one sentence :D)

For ACCEPTANCE. Of yourself.
Also, for decluttering the mess in your mind if you have some, and feeling better about the decisions you take (or you don’t).

My mess has always been legendary so in general I’m very happy to have found out this and had the chance to see that IT IS STILL OKAY that I’m always making up ideas about possible stuff….on the other hand, I’ve also identified that I lack the will for actually completing stuff and I must work on this. O_o Mmmm, self-awareness, here we go! :)

Well well….I am now going to continue reading Piers Vitebsky’s The Reindeer People book….it allows me to daydream about being in Siberia, riding a reindeer learn more about the field of cultural anthropology & its outdoor research methods & it’s a GREAT book! You have my bookwormish recommendations. :)

Take care dear readers (all 5 of you? Thanks for sticking with me!) & enjoy your Christmas holidays in a SINFULLY BLISFULL LAZINESS. Aunty Kitteh sez iz good so iz good! ;)

Merry Tibsmas!

May your Tibsmas be filled with SNOW & lots of love….and your New Year 2011 with awesomeness! :)

Also…this design will be uploaded on my portfolio once all my friends receive its “real” version, make sure you’ll check it out then :)

My first proper one, according to the state university rules and all…so I am quite weirded out by it and I am also studying moderately my ass off, therefore I have no time for anything. So far I’ve been getting good grades (especially for essays) which is nice to see as I am not much of a nerd and though I take notes diligently and study, I definitely am NOT like my boyfriend that studies 24/7 and then ignores me which makes me angry, frustrated and on brink of kicking his medical ass away.

But here I am again with not much progress in life and not many breathtaking news…but with some ideas and resolutions.

For example, I have decided to buy more clothes at second hand stores…which will not only be 1) way cheaper & 2) more eco, but it will be also way more interesting! :) You know, H&M and Zara and Peek & Cloppenburg and …. are just so predictable. And given the quality sometimes even overpriced (for me) plus if I buy stupid stuff (like that Zara checked tweed skirt that’s way too tight around my mamacita portoriqueña butt and I’m not wearing it for fear of showing my undies) I am feeling very bad about it.
With second hand clothes, even a bad shopping is passable, because it’s not like it costs an arm & leg.

I want to be like Natalia when I grow up! :)) *link*

Actually, my first inspiration for this decision was when I found the great HEL LOOKS street style blog covering the style of people in Helsinki (look above, that’s Natalia). Most of the shot stylish people were saying things like “I usually shop at second hand shops” and “I just don’t like new clothes, I like to search second hand shops and sometimes find treasures” and so on…which was an EYE OPENER!!!
Suddenly I thought: Why the fuck am *I*, a poor unemployed loser student shopping at regular stores where t-shirts cost 20 Euro? Do I HAVE 20 Euro for a simple t-shirt? No, I don’t. So why the fuck…I will stop it. -_-

This decision has some conditions though. I will continue shopping for tank tops, undies, bras, socks, tights & shoes at regular shops, but I will try to find the rest second hand. I have a knee-long tweed/wool skirt on my wishlist now, so I’m hoping I’ll find something like it… :)

Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the relationship of me & my man…and the more I think about it, the sadder AND angrier I get. Dating a medical student is VERY TOUGH. Believe me. It’s maybe fit only for entirely mad people, like me, that are very patient and selfless – but even with my selflessness, I sometimes think it’s too much already. -_-
Recently he refused to travel with me to Finland during summer which really pissed me off and made me super sad as in my book, there’s nothing more satisfying than traveling abroad with one’s partner…

Lake Saimaa *link*

Well now, I’m going to Finland either alone or with some girl friends.
I’m fine with it, FIIINE!, I am even going to meet one my Finnish friend I’ve known for maybe 11 years through the net but we’ve never met… I have a plushy reindeer from him (he knows me well :)), lots of Xmas and bday cards and all, we’re very close and yet we don’t know each other, so it’s time to make it happen :P If my man wants to stay home, FINE. Let it be so. But I don’t guarantee I’ll be the same after I return and I can’t guarantee I won’t re-evaluate this relationship. Medicine is important but I’d like to be at least as important as a fucking Physiology exam, thankyouverymuch.

What else? Oh, the usual stuff.

I’m tired of having no damn job.
I am tired of being dependent on my mother.
I am itching to go somewhere, do something, move somewhere, but I am telling myself, I need PATIENCE. I should finish my BA Ethno and apply for a gov-funded MA Ethno somewhere abroad and preferably have money saved up by then…and just LIVE LIKE I WANT TO.
Also, I’ve had a rare moment of inspiration recently, so I painted a winter landscape:

It’s also on my Behance, so give it some appreciative love, if you can :)

Fine…I am going to remove my make-up now and search for a job, as usual. What a fulfilling existence, really!

In case you were still interested in seeing my virtual self, I hope this Y! Avatar will do:

So, ANYWAY, I try to keep this blog open, honest and real. In fact, this blog is often more open than I am in my ‘real’ life…here I share stuff with less worry and I feel like ranting in English sounds way better than in any other language. ;)

And what’s this lengthy intro about anyway? I’m coming there, I am…

The thing is….THIS IS YET ANOTHER GRUMPY POST. =_=

Yes yes yes, I know….who the f*** should be reading this blog if it’s full of grumpy stuff, complaints, random posts about nothing and more bitching? No wonder I am not famous ;)

On the other hand, you know…really, times are very tough for me now. I feel like I’m going around in idiotic circles, round and round and round with no chance of escape…I apply for jobs, I get no replies, I go to interviews and no success (except of recently – I got into the 2nd round for the Callan method English lector position) awaits me, I hunt for GD jobs and nothing exists whatsoever…

FUCK THIS SHIT, I am just so frustrated!!!!

Whoever said the economy is getting better was a sick moron and I’ll kick his snotty nose.

I have started to look for work-camps, internships and volunteering options abroad, preferably in Scandinavia and I’ve also found this AMAZING website Workaway.info that offers you to travel somewhere and get accomodation & food in exchange for your help around the place… I will most likely give it a try during the summer, because really, I MUST GET OUT.

I’m questioning if it’s me being such a failing moron in everything or if it’s the employers that don’t give a shit. Though it is possibly option #1, I still feel the employers abroad could possibly be more daring and open even to people with no prior experience in the field…or maybe I am just naive.

In any case I am more than ready to take a break from this slumpy, foggy shit of a fresh graduatee life and pick strawberries somewhere at some Norwegian field….I’m feeling it’d provide me with a new energy and enthusiasm and change my perspective on stuff…on many, many aspects of stuff in my life.

Sigh. Now I let it out I can go sleep…today I read in some WTF spiritual book that “sleep is a yin activity, therefore it’s very necessary for women that are traditionally yin beings and women should be very careful about not sleeping enough”. Considering I went to bed at 0.20am yesterday and woke up at 5.20am…AHEM…I better go nao. ;)

*click*

OMG, so pretty! But last time they didn’t have my size…I must go & check other ECCO stores in Bratislava to find it. I will try not to end up buying (with non-existent money mind you…that’s an art) other babies there as well:

*click*

Great color & style. Look comfy as well…sigh~

*click*

YELLOW leather sneakers! Awesomeness! I have one pair of greyish white ECCO sneakers and they’re super comfortable & well designed so I’m eyeing other sneakers as well. These are great, elegant, stylish, chic, cheerful….if only I could justify the purchase, right? ;) -_-”

*click*

As is I didn’t have enough mary janes already. But I realised it’s my favorite style of shoes, especially if it’s a heeled/wedge shoe…sure it may look like a FRUMPY LIBRARIAN with an ill choice of apparel but I usually try to make it look adorable and or slightly retro touched..the frumpy librarian look will be permitted once I’m over 40yo ;)

M&S also carries some awesome mary janes (I like these & these) in their super comfy Footglove range…and the prices are nicer than ECCO’s as well, though the design isn’t as well in my opinion (fine, I’m a design snob, I admit it FML).

I will end this absolutely pointless post with absolutely unattainable and very impractical pumps:

*click*

These my dears are the Christian Louboutin’s  Pindera 120 crystal-embellished pumps worth almost 2000 Euro! Beautiful, sexy, but really….c’mon, if I had 2000 Euro, I’d spent it other way* than buy stupidly high heeled pumps! ;)

Sweet dreams!

* For example, I’d:

• buy a DKNY dress
• fly to Iceland and stay there for at least a week
  
• adopt one more Tibbie
• go for a professional mani & pedi since my hands and feet look AWFUL
• buy those ECCO pumps, mary janes AND the yellow sneakers :P
• order some goodness from Marimekko and then redesign my room
• pay for horseriding classes :)
  

Loubies? Oh please..